Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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