it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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