all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
