Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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