Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
