holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have fence marks all over my body
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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