On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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