oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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