so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
