Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
