I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
