things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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