Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
