Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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