In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
