The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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