I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
