they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
