Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
