Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
