Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
