you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
