Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
