I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
