Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
