i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
