I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
