I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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