so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I wear drunk well.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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