i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
