he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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