my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
