I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
pray to the hookup gods
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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