yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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