I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
