All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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