I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
