I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize