Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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