He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
