The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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