I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize