Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
