Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize