I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
