did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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