This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize