I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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