Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
