Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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