her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
