Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
