There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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