I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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