I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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