bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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