I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
