Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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