just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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