I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
