it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize