Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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