So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
